returning to work

This post has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now but I am ready to share it.

Let me give you a little back story first...

Back in June I was scrolling thru Indeed looking at the different job postings in my area. I wasn't seriously looking for work but decided to give a few interesting jobs more attention. I applied to a few job postings and the next day I got a response and the day after that I found myself in an interview. I left the interview so excited and wanting this job because it had been the best interview I had ever had! 

Fast forward to when this post was written...the night before my first day!

My girls are asleep and I am incredibly nervous for what tomorrow will bring! You see tomorrow is my first day of work. I have not worked in several years. Completely devoting my time to my girls and husband. 

I am pretty much feeling every emotion possible.

One moment I am so excited and then I feel tremendous amounts of guilt.

I will be pretty much be working all week for 4-6 hours a day. The schedule itself is not bad at all, its actually one of the reasons I accepted the job. 

However, it means that my hubby will be watching the kiddos for a portion of the day and when school starts I won't be at pick up. 

Enter mom guilt! 

As excited as I am for myself and the opportunities this job will give me. 

I am also experiencing mom guilt to the max. 

How will this affect my girls? 

Will they miss me? 

Will I miss them even more? 

Will my husband be able to watch them and work at the same time when I am away?

Will I miss a lot of school events and will that scar my kid for life?

I wrote pros and cons lists and to be honest they left me more confused.

But what I do know is that I am doing this for my girls, they are my WHY.

It all boils down to them. 

I want this job and mentally feel like I need this job.

I need time to myself and making money at the same time doesn't hurt one bit.

Tomorrow is a big day for all of us and now I really need to get to bed!

xoxo

Jocelyn